you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
