Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
