He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
