Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
