just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
