You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The best revenge is premature balding
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
