I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
