i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
