but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
