Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
