I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
