he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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