I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
