Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
