What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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