woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize