C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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