Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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