trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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