I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
