omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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