Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
