he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
