Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
