I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
