Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
