I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
