meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
