please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
