Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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