How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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