I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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