Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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