Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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