Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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