Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
