I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
