how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
