you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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