I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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