there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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