no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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