I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
