i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
