We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
