Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
