Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
