The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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