I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
