I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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