I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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